he has been what i thought was a friend for many years. since those tender teen years we have been friends. i moved here thinking i would make lots of friends and meet people through him. what i didn't know is he lives in his bedroom. he very rarely goes out. when he does he doesn't behave very well. i can understand the untreated forms of ocd. he has who he calls his best friend. her job is to keep all women away from him. she looks at him with moony eyes. at first i thought how good this was for him to have someone. he says he doesn't want her. he just brings her out when he feels women are too close. he seems to like women to stay for a week end and have sex and then leave. when they ask for more he brings out his pitbull. he acts like this isn't true.
i thought his friend would help me to meet people but instead all she said was why don't you move to vermount.
easy come easy go.
the problem?
he keeps sexaully harassing me. i have no interest. he doesn't think he does this but this is what harassers do. they act like it is the objects fault. i don't want to be his sex slave. men like that aren't good in bed. they think porn is a manual for sex. many a time i have thought maybe i should tell him to get a hobby. oh, porn isn't a hobby.
and so he still lives in his bedroom.
this is a warning to anyone who knows someone like this, get away and stay away.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
South Atlantic Anomaly
should i be worried about South Atlantic Anomaly? today has been a good day for over worry. should i worry about that? damn, i think too much or not enought? can i drink more coffee?
next year nasa sends up a satellite to look at the magnetism.
is there are cure? can we protect ourselves from this?
hey if nasa knows it is there and says it can change life as we know it/kill us we need to look inot this more.
god i love being paranoid. paranoid with good reason.
what do you mean i should have a dumb mind? what do you mean think only of hollywood stars and not evolution?
you mean i need to be stupid to be happy?
damn.
next year nasa sends up a satellite to look at the magnetism.
is there are cure? can we protect ourselves from this?
hey if nasa knows it is there and says it can change life as we know it/kill us we need to look inot this more.
god i love being paranoid. paranoid with good reason.
what do you mean i should have a dumb mind? what do you mean think only of hollywood stars and not evolution?
you mean i need to be stupid to be happy?
damn.
spring is on the way
it may be snowing right now but it is getting warmer. it is a wet warm snow. i am even starting to think about growing veggies soon. i love to grow food. will plant some herbs and flowers too. i love the sunflowers of many colors peeking up from the spot in the hay.
the snow reminds of the beach snow at times. the hay is peeking up from the snow and it reminds me of beach grass.
i love the way the snow shines in the sun. it looks like season greetings cards.
yesterday the sun was out and my dog ran in the snow like she does every day. the sunlight hit the earth just right for me to see how happy she looked.
today i am baking bread.
the snow reminds of the beach snow at times. the hay is peeking up from the snow and it reminds me of beach grass.
i love the way the snow shines in the sun. it looks like season greetings cards.
yesterday the sun was out and my dog ran in the snow like she does every day. the sunlight hit the earth just right for me to see how happy she looked.
today i am baking bread.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
they don't want to find a cure
Clinical trial is halted for lupus drug Riquent
Monitoring board: treatment 'futile'
By Terri Somers
Union-Tribune Staff Writer
2:00 a.m. February 13, 2009
Lupus patients across the nation were distraught by the news yesterday
that La Jolla Pharmaceutical stopped the clinical trial of its drug
Riquent.
An independent monitoring board looked at preliminary trial data and
determined that using the drug was "futile" in stopping deadly
symptoms of lupus, the company said in a one-paragraph news release.
"I'm sitting here at the computer reading the press release and I'm
absolutely devastated," said Kathleen Arntsen, a Vernon, N.Y., woman
with the auto-immune disease.
It is the fourth lupus drug failure in recent years, said Arntsen, a
national advocate for lupus patients. Drugs by Genelabs Technologies
and Cell Cept disappointed in late stage clinical trials for lupus, as
did Biogen Idec's cancer drug Rituxan.
There has not been a new drug approval for lupus in 50 years, leaving
doctors to fend off the disease with chemotherapy drugs and steroids.
"Every time a drug comes up, it just doesn't make it through," said
Arntsen, who runs the nonprofit Lupus Foundation of Mid and Northern
New York.
La Jolla Pharmaceutical executives have not seen the clinical trial
data, which had been blinded to them but not the monitoring panel, so
company officials had no comment yesterday.
After its own experts pore over the data, the company will have a
better idea of whether to scrap its Riquent program, or perhaps argue
that the monitoring board wasn't reading the data correctly.
The failure of the only drug in the 100-person company's pipeline sent
its shares plummeting $2.11, or 91 percent, to close at 20 cents
yesterday.
Five weeks ago, La Jolla Pharmaceutical announced that it licensed
some of the development rights for the drug to BioMarin Pharmaceutical
in a deal worth up to $289 million. Novato-based BioMarin, which has
$586 million in cash reserves, paid $15 million upfront, split evenly
into cash and an equity investment.
That company's shares were less devastated by the news yesterday,
dropping 3 percent to $18.90.
La Jolla Pharmaceutical has struggled for years to bring Riquent to
market as a treatment for episodes of kidney inflammation that result
from lupus, a disease that causes the body's immune system to run amok.
About half of the 1 million lupus patients in the United States and
Europe have these so-called renal flares. The body can handle only so
many flares before developing kidney disease, which can cause death.
This trial may have been Riquent's third strike.
The drug failed to prove effectiveness in a 1999 test, and in 2003 it
again failed to prove effective in delaying episodes of kidney
inflammation.
The company then asked the Food and Drug Administration to consider
approving Riquent for its ability to reduce certain antibodies that
play a role in the flares. That prompted the trial that came to an
abrupt halt yesterday.
In San Diego's patient advocacy group, as well as in New York, people
with lupus were excited that the tiny local company was tackling the
perplexing and complicated disease, said Hollaine Hopkins, direction
of the Lupus Foundation of Southern California.
"This is a real blow," Hopkins said.
Many patients referred to La Jolla Pharmaceutical as "the little
engine that could," because it survived the previous failures, only to
try again, Arntsen said.
Meanwhile, she and other patient advocates threw themselves into
lobbying and educational campaigns to explain that lupus is a
heterogenous disease: no two patients are alike, therefore no drug can
be expected to be a one-size-fits-all treatment, she said.
Until a new drug emerges, Arntsen, like many other lupus patients,
will continue to take drugs that shut down her immune system – drugs
that were approved for cancer or organ transplant patients – and make
all types of common infections a deadly threat.
"I'm supposed to be giving hope and encouragement to other people, but
my heart's been broken," Arntsen said.
Monitoring board: treatment 'futile'
By Terri Somers
Union-Tribune Staff Writer
2:00 a.m. February 13, 2009
Lupus patients across the nation were distraught by the news yesterday
that La Jolla Pharmaceutical stopped the clinical trial of its drug
Riquent.
An independent monitoring board looked at preliminary trial data and
determined that using the drug was "futile" in stopping deadly
symptoms of lupus, the company said in a one-paragraph news release.
"I'm sitting here at the computer reading the press release and I'm
absolutely devastated," said Kathleen Arntsen, a Vernon, N.Y., woman
with the auto-immune disease.
It is the fourth lupus drug failure in recent years, said Arntsen, a
national advocate for lupus patients. Drugs by Genelabs Technologies
and Cell Cept disappointed in late stage clinical trials for lupus, as
did Biogen Idec's cancer drug Rituxan.
There has not been a new drug approval for lupus in 50 years, leaving
doctors to fend off the disease with chemotherapy drugs and steroids.
"Every time a drug comes up, it just doesn't make it through," said
Arntsen, who runs the nonprofit Lupus Foundation of Mid and Northern
New York.
La Jolla Pharmaceutical executives have not seen the clinical trial
data, which had been blinded to them but not the monitoring panel, so
company officials had no comment yesterday.
After its own experts pore over the data, the company will have a
better idea of whether to scrap its Riquent program, or perhaps argue
that the monitoring board wasn't reading the data correctly.
The failure of the only drug in the 100-person company's pipeline sent
its shares plummeting $2.11, or 91 percent, to close at 20 cents
yesterday.
Five weeks ago, La Jolla Pharmaceutical announced that it licensed
some of the development rights for the drug to BioMarin Pharmaceutical
in a deal worth up to $289 million. Novato-based BioMarin, which has
$586 million in cash reserves, paid $15 million upfront, split evenly
into cash and an equity investment.
That company's shares were less devastated by the news yesterday,
dropping 3 percent to $18.90.
La Jolla Pharmaceutical has struggled for years to bring Riquent to
market as a treatment for episodes of kidney inflammation that result
from lupus, a disease that causes the body's immune system to run amok.
About half of the 1 million lupus patients in the United States and
Europe have these so-called renal flares. The body can handle only so
many flares before developing kidney disease, which can cause death.
This trial may have been Riquent's third strike.
The drug failed to prove effectiveness in a 1999 test, and in 2003 it
again failed to prove effective in delaying episodes of kidney
inflammation.
The company then asked the Food and Drug Administration to consider
approving Riquent for its ability to reduce certain antibodies that
play a role in the flares. That prompted the trial that came to an
abrupt halt yesterday.
In San Diego's patient advocacy group, as well as in New York, people
with lupus were excited that the tiny local company was tackling the
perplexing and complicated disease, said Hollaine Hopkins, direction
of the Lupus Foundation of Southern California.
"This is a real blow," Hopkins said.
Many patients referred to La Jolla Pharmaceutical as "the little
engine that could," because it survived the previous failures, only to
try again, Arntsen said.
Meanwhile, she and other patient advocates threw themselves into
lobbying and educational campaigns to explain that lupus is a
heterogenous disease: no two patients are alike, therefore no drug can
be expected to be a one-size-fits-
Until a new drug emerges, Arntsen, like many other lupus patients,
will continue to take drugs that shut down her immune system – drugs
that were approved for cancer or organ transplant patients – and make
all types of common infections a deadly threat.
"I'm supposed to be giving hope and encouragement to other people, but
my heart's been broken," Arntsen said.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
the softer kinder revolution
somewhere back in my learning of history there is the french revolution. the people were very unhappy with the wealth and the not caring of the rich. there were many points i remember. my favorite is the story of the women who worked in the fish market. they were strong and worked with knives. they started a march to Versailles. they knocked the gate down and took the food from the kitchen. they must have been very hungry.
today the military would storm in with tear gas and guns and clubs. what do they care they wear armor.
many people are less and less happy with how things are run these days.
i am not happy but i don't think violence is the answer.
today the military would storm in with tear gas and guns and clubs. what do they care they wear armor.
many people are less and less happy with how things are run these days.
i am not happy but i don't think violence is the answer.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
poor starving rich people
they say a snow storm is coming tomorrow. i'll bake some bread today. i'll bring in extra wood. a few months ago i didn't have the strength to lift very much wood. no new meds for lupus in 50 years. the ones they give me take a long time, almost over a year or two to kick in. even then it is just a percentage of what i was. they say there is a new drug for lupus in europe. this is where politics enters the world of health. politics thinks it is more important than peoples' lives.
but today i feel a little stronger. i don't huff and puff when i get the wood. so i am very thankful for that.
after the last few years of having this immune system disorder, i have come to see we don't have a health care system at all. putting everything on a computer doesn't make it a health care system like they want us to believe. it is a medical industry that makes money off of the sick, weak and dieing.
that is where the propaganda comes in. they have everyone fight over what needsto be done to 'fix' it.
the true is it is not broken. it does what it is meant to do harvest money from the people. they know everyone runs into the need if they life long enough so they just wait.
why would they want to cure an immune disorder? they would open the door to the immune system and heal and cure mnay other diseases which means no money for the poor starving trillionaires.
those people are rich enough to have all the cures.
when i was in and out of hospitals the people there said someone was taking the stem cells. they take them from all hospitals. it just proves it is not about what the propaganda says it is. who ever takes them uses them. it sounds like a james bond story line.
the day when people see it is the propaganda that is making them fight and they join together is when we might get some rights.
the mind set is strong. everyone is too full of emotion to see anything but what they believe. clever mind/emotion programers, they knew how to keep the people devived.
but today i feel a little stronger. i don't huff and puff when i get the wood. so i am very thankful for that.
after the last few years of having this immune system disorder, i have come to see we don't have a health care system at all. putting everything on a computer doesn't make it a health care system like they want us to believe. it is a medical industry that makes money off of the sick, weak and dieing.
that is where the propaganda comes in. they have everyone fight over what needsto be done to 'fix' it.
the true is it is not broken. it does what it is meant to do harvest money from the people. they know everyone runs into the need if they life long enough so they just wait.
why would they want to cure an immune disorder? they would open the door to the immune system and heal and cure mnay other diseases which means no money for the poor starving trillionaires.
those people are rich enough to have all the cures.
when i was in and out of hospitals the people there said someone was taking the stem cells. they take them from all hospitals. it just proves it is not about what the propaganda says it is. who ever takes them uses them. it sounds like a james bond story line.
the day when people see it is the propaganda that is making them fight and they join together is when we might get some rights.
the mind set is strong. everyone is too full of emotion to see anything but what they believe. clever mind/emotion programers, they knew how to keep the people devived.
Monday, February 16, 2009
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